Auditions: "End of the Rainbow"


JUDY

Do you have any candy? I want something sweet. Not a cigarette. They’re very bad for you. Deanna Durbin used to smoke all the time, even in school at the studio. She was like a chimney. A chimney with one eyebrow that grew all the way across.

Diana always sat next to Elizabeth Taylor. Oh! Liz Taylor was charming….so charming you wanted to run her down with a car! Mickey Rooney smoked too – it stunts your growth!....I liked school, but I never learned anything. You should learn things. I lost so much time in vaudeville. And we were a terrible act. We always followed the comedian – Happy Harry. He was the saddest man I ever met. Funny people just aren’t funny. Don’t you find that? It’s not a way to live. We all turned out very peculiar. Did I get a cigarette? I asked for a cigarette.


JUDY/MICKEY

(The hotel room. Judy is on a short break from the show. She is desperately searching for alcohol.)

MICKEY
What the hell are you doing?

JUDY
I want a drink.

MICKEY
You have to leave and go back in five minutes – five minutes maximum – you hear me?

JUDY
Those bottles should be in my dressing room. My room is empty. It’s like a tomb in there.

MICKEY
Your room is full of flowers.

JUDY
Exactly! It’s like a tomb in there…!....And I can’t drink flowers, Mickey.

MICKEY
You’ve got three minutes.

JUDY
No, no, I’m finished for tonight.

MICKEY
Judy – listen to me very carefully. There are hundreds of people in that theatre waiting for you and we need every penny that they’ve paid out – so you just pull yourself together because you are going back.

JUDY
I can’t do any more tonight. I’m shaking, look at me. I raised my hand in that spotlight and I saw it tremble – tremble – that’s when I know – when I’m losing control.

MICKEY
Look, let’s just go back and –

JUDY
Mickey, darling – how much longer do you think you can keep throwing me on there and expecting the best of me. I can’t do it anymore, it’s too much. Call Delfont and tell him to give the people their money back.

MICKEY
Honey, there’s a row of people in wheelchairs. 

JUDY
Well, if they wheeled them in, they can wheel them back out again!

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